Facebook. I love it, I hate it, I sometimes have to delete my account because I start writing overly honest comments on posts, leaving people to silently ponder whether or not I’m drunk. But I really love keeping in touch with my friends. I love seeing their photos, their adventures and their thoughts on life. Some people use Facebook just for self-promotion, while others use it just to brag about their kids, while still others use it to post photos of themselves juggling their violin-playing children while wearing a baseball cap with their company’s logo and also throwing down a little Duckface. Overachievers. But love it or hate it, it’s here. And it may or may not be sucking bits of our DNA right through our keyboards and cloning the shiznit out of us every single time we “like” a George Takei post. (And really, whatever. I could use more people in this world who understand me.)
However you use Facebook, you should ask yourself whether or not you fit into any of these stereotypical Facebook Roles. If you do, that is totally and completely FINE! (except for #6. Don’t do that anymore, please.)
Let’s say we’re all forced to talk about bananas. Here’s what some of your status updates might look like:
- People Who Haven’t Figured Out That Some Thoughts Are Meant to Be Passing Thoughts: This banana is ripe.
- Vaguebookers: Bananas :’(
- Town Criers: La Toya Jackson JUST slipped on a banana peel and is unconscious!
- Christians: La Toya Jackson just slipped on a banana peel and is unconscious! *praying…*
- Hash(tag) Junkies: I love bananas. #bananas #fruit #yellowfruit #arresteddevelopment #potassium #monkeyslovethem
- Pyramid Schemers: I’m still looking for 3 more motivated banana salespeople to join my team! Message me for details!
Do you recognize yourself in any of these types? Can you think of any types that I missed?