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Posts Tagged ‘Songs’

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This is an oldie but I thought I would share.  I penned this tune on the day that Sarah Palin announced that she would be stepping down from her post as Alaska’s governor.  Unfortunately it was prior to the speech where she likened herself to a fish.  I would have included that as well. Alas, we cannot rewrite history.  Trust me, I’ve tried…

(The song is meant to be sung to the tune of Road to Nowhere by Talking Heads.  If you don’t, it makes a lot less sense.)

Bridge To Nowhere

Well we know Sarah’s goin’
But we don’t know where she’s been
And we hear she’s seen Russia
But we’re not sure what that means

And she’s birthed four children
But she still shoots wolf pups
Trig‘s future’s uncertain
Give her time to f*ck him up

Chorus:
She’s on The Bridge to Nowhere
Winkin’ that eye
Takin’ that ride to nowhere
With Todd by her side

Sarah and Todd

She’s leaving the governor’s office
And you know
She’s on the road to obscurity
Here she goes, here she goes

She’s on The Bridge to Nowhere
Winkin’ that eye
Takin’ that ride to nowhere
With Todd by her side

Wink

Maybe you wonder where you are
She don’t care
Am I in Juneau or Japan?
Moscow’s right there, It’s right there

DC is only in your mind
You’re gonna try to take that ride
It’s not alright, It’s not alright

DC is very far away
And they won’t let you come and play
But that’s alright, Baby it’s alright

Maybe I should come along?
You could help me sing my songs
It’s alright, Sarah it’s alright

I can tell you what to do
When they make a fool of you
It’s alright, Sarah it’s alright

Or maybe you should stay up there
And get eaten by a bear
It’s alright, Sarah it’s alright

Bear Sarah Palin

You’re on a Bridge to Nowhere……

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the-peachI’m cheapI’m poor.  I love a bargain.  While many people throw their Tuesday junk mail, full of supermarket Weekly Special ads, into the recycling without a second thought, I scour the said “junk mail” to plan my upcoming grocery shopping needs.  It was there that I learned of the “10 pounds for $10” sale on organic peaches that QFC promised would begin the following day.  I arrived at the store prior to 8am on Wednesday in order to get the very best selection of peaches.  Apparently there was not an overwhelming demand.  Not only was I not battling throngs of peach-shoppers in the parking lot but when I arrived at the produce section the peaches were not yet on display.  I had to track down the tousle-haired manager, who appeared to have been napping, and ask for them.  My daughter and I wandered around, looking at what was new in the world of dairy-free cheeses (frankly, not much) until he finally reappeared from behind his plastic curtain, peaches in tow.  He yawned, looking genuinely irritated, as he unpacked the first box of peaches and arranged them on the stand.  Timbuk3’s, “The Future’s So Bright, I Gotta Wear Shades” played over the in-store audio system.  While I do find this song to be one of the very worst of the 1980s (with the possible exception of every song ZZ Top wrote during that decade) I did see some humor in the situation.  He did not.  I gave him a smile, loaded up my bags with delicious, pesticide-free goodness and went on my way.

That evening my daughter and I went to the Farmers Market to stock up on berries for one last jam-making hurrah before summer’s end.  As I arrived at the market, with Timbuk3 still a most unwelcome twosome in my mind, I spotted a sign: “ORGANIC PEACHES!  $15/20# BOX!”  Well, I’ll be.  Sometimes the early bird gets the shaft…

timbuk3-lips

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phil_drumI have the very unfortunate problem of getting very unfortunate songs stuck in my head for very long periods of time.  It’s unfortunate.  Very.  Sometimes it’s a jingle from a TV commercial or a song from one of my daughter’s Wiggles DVDs, other times a theme song from a long-since canceled sitcom (“Empty Nest”, anyone?).  This week it’s Phil Collins’ 1985 classic, “Sussudio”.  This song has sullied every single conversation I’ve had in the past week.  At the grocery store, the pharmacy, the park, the doctor’s office…  I saw my doctor on Wednesday and for all I know he told me I have three months to live.  All that I heard was “Su-su-sudio OH oh!!”  Oh, and the horns!  The horns!  God damn those effing horns!

Oh, is “Sussudio” stuck in your head now?  Hey, sharing is caring.

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