Posts Tagged ‘New Age’

The Four Agreements, “Toltec Wisdom,”  “Spiritual Warriors,”  “Metaphysical” this, that and the other…  Ugh.  How long have we been hearing about this?  How many people have we seen pull a well-worn copy of Don Miguel Ruiz’s book out of their hemp tote as they sip their non-fat, half-caff (with room for 1 Equal and 2 Splendas) latte and pretend to read it?  Frankly, I’m over it.  And I’ve never even read the book.  Sure, I could use some improvement in my life:  I could communicate more effectively, I could enhance my relationships.  I just don’t see doing this with “Toltec Wisdom.”  My main problem with The Four Agreements is Agreement #2: Don’t Take Anything Personally.  This feels to me like a relic from the 1980’s Me Generation.  And look at where that got us: Insane national debt, a quickly-disappearing ozone layer and women who wear running shoes with their 3-piece suits.  I don’t mind saying, “If you are behaving like an idiot/jackass/self-centered maniac and people respond to that in a negative way, TAKE IT PERSONALLY.”  By all means, take it personally.  It’s about you. Enabling people to stumble through life, plowing people down with their self-obsessed behavior, is wrong.  The Four Agreements has been on the market since 1997 and from where I’m standing, the world is less friendly by the moment, communication and contentment are at an all-time low and people are just generally pissed off.  So, Don?  I think we should agree to disagree.  It’s not me, it’s you.  I prefer to gain my wisdom from fortune cookies.  And from the looks of things, I will be traveling to meet foreign dignitaries soon.  Very soon.  My bags are packed.  Also, my kind demeanor wins me the respect of all whom I meet.  Well, duh.


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354451_f520I know a few people who are quite into The Law of Attraction.  They set goals, set aside time in the day to focus their energy on these goals and create “vision boards” in hopes of making said goals a reality.  In and of itself, this sounds like a splendid plan.  Really, what’s the harm in trying to attract some positivity into your life?  Well, I’m glad you asked.  Throughout time, throughout all cultures, throughout all traditions there is one common thread that ties us together as human beings: The Golden Rule.  In essence, “Don’t be a dickhead.  If you are a dickhead, say you’re sorry and try not to be a dickhead in the future.”  The Golden Rule is really sort of awesome and I challenge anybody to come up with a good argument against it.   There has never been a need to devote books, movies, cruises, websites, speaking tours, Oprah episodes, web seminars, or “vision boards” to The Golden Rule and one can observe it free of charge, without ever having to see a man in colored contact lenses and a Nehru jacket.  One disturbing interesting thing that I’ve noticed about the Law of Attraction fans that I’ve observed is that they seem to be the people in life who, when faced with personal defeat, ask themselves, “Why me?” and when faced with another person’s triumphs, ask themselves, “Why not me?”.  To these people, I would like to say (possibly while beating them brutally playfully with their “vision boards”), “Put down the book.  Throw out the movie.  There is no “secret”.  As it all turns out, life is not fair.  The chances of you meeting the man of your dreams or being offered that big promotion at work decrease just a bit more the longer you sit in your bedroom with the shades drawn, dreaming about it.  (However, if a strange man does enter your bedroom and ask you on a date, call the police…)  In short, there’s no such thing as a free lunch.  Dickhead.”

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