Posts Tagged ‘Shame’

50971_f520Dear Oprah,

My memory is like a steel trap (I actually feel this may be a personality disorder but let’s try to stay on point here…).  You did something in the Fall of 1998 that you regret.  You wish that you could take it back but you can’t.  Lord knows I’ve been standing in those size 10s myself, Oprah.  But here’s what separates you and me (besides your $800 million net worth, your love of Gayle and your bizarre bunions): You live your life on camera.  Millions of people heard what I heard and you can’t hide it forever.  Somewhere, someday it will resurface.  What was your transgression?  What did you do that was so heinous that you clearly have all of your minions working around the clock to insure that the evidence stays buried?  You made the unthinkable decision to record your own theme song.  It was called “Run On”.  It was awful.  It was hideous.  It made me laugh, cry, pee in my pants just a little bit and throw up in my mouth just a littler bit, all while falling out of my chair.  How did this happen, Oprah?  Couldn’t anybody stop you?  Dr. Phil?  Steadman?  Bob Greene?  The Chicago PD?  Yes, it was horrific: an aural assault and battery.  But the thing is, I would really like to find a recording of it (preferably a Youtube but I’m trying to be reasonable here).  And it seems I’m not the only one.  We’re coming after you, Oprah.  So you can “run on… see what the day may bring” but we’re coming for you.

All the best,


P.S.- I enter your “Live Your Best Life Sweepstakes” every single day online.  Fingers crossed that I win!!!


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