So, I just got a brand new pair of walking shoes and have decided to commit to taking a daily walk, weather permitting. The main reason that this resolution is not a great, big, terrifying albatross around my neck is that I live in Oregon. The weatherman predicts one more day of sunshine before we head into approximately 7 months of rain. Perfect! But in the meantime, my daughter and I have been taking a daily stroll along one of the walking trails near our home. You know who else is taking daily strolls along this walking trail (besides the scary dude who chants to himself while clutching a plastic bag to his chest)? An unreasonable number of couples who are walking hand-in-hand, that’s who. I don’t get this phenomenon. Why are they doing this? Is one of them prone to dodging into traffic without notice? Is one of them kidnapping the other? Have they seen too many Meg Ryan movies? Even these reasons are not good enough for me.
I like to have complete and total charge of my own appendages. What if I trip? Or worse, what if my husband trips? I don’t need anybody dragging me down with them. Gravel in my forehead was not a part of my wedding vows. What if a bee or a mosquito or a bear or a Jehovah’s Witness approaches my face? I would like to have both of my hands available to fend them off.
Do you stroll hand-in-hand with your partner? Do you live anywhere other than Europe? {For some reason I choose to give a pass to Europeans. They seem to look “right” holding hands. They can wear weird hats, too. And forgo deodorant. You can’t.} Yes, you do participate in the hand-holding? Explain yourself. That is, if you have two available hands with which to type.