Today, while looking at a variety of salad dressings at the supermarket, I had a very serious thought: “God, I wonder why Newman from Seinfeld has never made a porn and called it Newman’s Own.” Immediately after this, I realized that I was losing my mind and decided that I should head home
after checking out the after-Christmas sale candy at once. I’m 35 and I have long-since given up hope that I will start thinking things that “normal 35-year-olds” think (Mortgages and matching my shoes to my handbag and retirement, oh my!). I’m me and I’ll be damned if I don’t kinda like me. If I weren’t me, I would seriously consider hanging out with me and I just don’t go hanging around with anybody everybody.
I hope that you all had a beautiful Christmas (and if you don’t celebrate Christmas, I hope you had a beautiful Day-That-Some-People-Pretend-Is-Jesus’-Birthday-So-That-They-Can-Eat-Too-Much-While-Exchanging-Gifts). I had a wonderful holiday with my husband, my daughter, my mom and my new puppy (whose name is Buzz but whom I am currently calling The Artist Formerly Known as Satan). More posts will be coming in the New Year (or so I claim). My group of subscribers is small but you are some kick-ass folk. I wouldn’t trade you for all the tea in China. Thank you.
Now go and try to rid yourself of the image of Newman engaging in explicit sex acts. I dare you.