I consider myself to be one of the luckiest people in the whole entire world. I was born and raised in the Pacific Northwest and there are approximately 2,359,321 reasons that the Pacific Northwest kicks ass. We have amazing terrain (mountains and rivers and islands, oh my!); amazing artists of all types; amazing food; and amazing coffee. In Seattle or Portland (and countless cities and towns in between), it would be impossible to walk more than a few blocks in any direction without coming across a fabulous independent coffee shop. Hipsters, hip-to-hip in funky boots and cool glasses, sip Americanos and Morning Glory chais whilst discussing politics or music or venereal warts (true story); the walls are lined with the awe-inspiring works of local artists; and the baristas are unique, well-trained and sometimes surly. Getting a latte at one of these joints is an experience, and generally a good one at that. But I have a confession: I have been carrying on a 20-year love affair with that place that serves their coffee in the white and green cups. I love it. When I see the green awning, my heart skips a beat¹ and my soul sings a happy tune. Sure, they are suffering from a severe case of market over-saturation and their baked goods leave something to be desired² but they’re predictable and this little Virgo heart of mine can appreciate that. In a world gone mad, I’ll always have that white and green cup.
So, you can keep your tattooed, misanthropic baristas and leave me to enjoy my venti-soy-2-pump-pumpkin-spice-no-whip latte in peace, served up fast and with a smile.³ And I won’t apologize about it.
Alright, I’m kind of sorry, but not enough to change my ways. Starbucks, I just can’t quit you.
¹ This may or may not be my heart murmur, pleading with me to pass up the caffeine fix just. this. once.
² I’ve told Panera Bread and I will tell you: If it ain’t boiled, it ain’t a bagel.
³ Never you mind the fact that the smile is masking untold bitterness over having to remove that nose ring, cover up those tattoos with long sleeves and pretend to give two shits about how my day is going. A smile is a smile is a smile and I’ll take it.