Recently, while processing my junk mail, I came across a certificate that was worth a $25 gift card to Walgreen’s if I transferred a prescription over to their pharmacy. Ka-ching! To a coupon-clipping, Ebay-shopping, Craigslist-stalking maniac like me, this is basically the equivalent of Charlie finding the Golden Ticket to Willy Wonka’s chocolate factory. In short, I was elated. I planned my trip for a time when I knew I would be without my child. After all, I didn’t want to leave with $25 worth of Dora coloring books and M&Ms. Here’s how it went down:
I arrived at Walgreen’s at around 7:30 on Friday evening. I hoped that this would be a good time to go and that I may even be the only shopper. I got my prescription and gift card and began browsing. I was indeed not the only shopper. Down every aisle, in every nook and cranny, somebody seemed to be having an issue (In retrospect, there may have been a Narcotics Anonymous meeting taking place in aisle 3). While I was considering the possible subtle nuances between Maybelline’s Blackest Black and Very Black mascara, a Whirling Dervish of a woman ran headlong into me on her way to the toilet paper section. She was extremely alert (Crack?) and itching all over (Meth? Scabies?). Charlie never had to put up with this kind of crap at the chocolate factory.
I persevered. To the tune of “Ricky, Don’t Lose That Number” (which has replaced “Susuddio” as the constant track that runs in my head and which I’m considering contacting corporate about), I finished filling my basket. My haul? Two mascaras (one of each color); an assortment of candy (Hot Tamales, Haribo Gummi Bears, and Junior Mints if you must know…); Gorilla Glue; sketch pads; ponytail holders; pens; pencils and a Real Simple magazine. My receipt claims that I left the store at 8:43 but I feel that I was in there for much longer than an hour and 13 minutes. In fact, the lighting in there aged me at least 6 years.
In the end, was it worth $25 of random drugstore merchandise to spend my Friday evening with the tired, poor and huddled (and seemingly high) masses of North Seattle? I’ll let you know in 2-6 weeks – which is apparently the average incubation period for Scabies.