Today, while looking at a variety of salad dressings at the supermarket, I had a very serious thought: “God, I wonder why Newman from Seinfeld has never made a porn and called it Newman’s Own.” Immediately after this, I realized that I was losing my mind and decided that I should head home after checking out the after-Christmas sale candy at once. I’m 35 and I have long-since given up hope that I will start thinking things that “normal 35-year-olds” think (Mortgages and matching my shoes to my handbag and retirement, oh my!). I’m me and I’ll be damned if I don’t kinda like me. If I weren’t me, I would seriously consider hanging out with me and I just don’t go hanging around with anybody everybody.
I hope that you all had a beautiful Christmas (and if you don’t celebrate Christmas, I hope you had a beautiful Day-That-Some-People-Pretend-Is-Jesus’-Birthday-So-That-They-Can-Eat-Too-Much-While-Exchanging-Gifts). I had a wonderful holiday with my husband, my daughter, my mom and my new puppy (whose name is Buzz but whom I am currently calling The Artist Formerly Known as Satan). More posts will be coming in the New Year (or so I claim). My group of subscribers is small but you are some kick-ass folk. I wouldn’t trade you for all the tea in China. Thank you.
Now go and try to rid yourself of the image of Newman engaging in explicit sex acts. I dare you.
Um, eeeewwww!
But really, have a wonderful rest of year. I know good things are coming for you in 2011.
Thank you, Brenna! ALL of us! Please, please, please…
I am also 35 and I have come to believe that thoughts like yours are much more common than thinking about mortgages and matching your shoes to your handbag. They are also much more entertaining.
Happy New Year!!!
I sure hope so, Shana! I would hate to think that most women our age are thinking serious thoughts all day long. That would suck for them!
Keep on thinking those original thoughts!
I somehow missed this one and am laughing my ass off about it now. Newman’s Own would be an awesome porn flick for him to re-start his career, kind of like Dustin Diamond spring boarded from Screech from SBTB. I, too, find myself thinking constantly “how can I be 35 and laughing my ass off at something so juvenile” or on the flip side, feeling completely inadequate to be having responsibilities at work that they only give to ‘grown-ups’ and I don’t fit into that category. I am the most insecure secure person I know.